3 horror internship stories from fellow NYUers after the jump:

“I filed Lindsay Lohans bar bill invoices at an unnamed production company for her stay at the four seasons in Beverly Hills during the release of the movie “Bobby.” Lets just say the Kennedy’s weren’t the only people to take shots to the dome.”

-Sophomore, Jarett Moyse

“During the fall of my sophomore year, I decided to intern in the Public Relations division of a fashion company. As fashion week was approaching, they decided to send all of their interns to different areas of the city to deliver invitations to their show, instead of just mailing them out. I got assigned “Time Square” and literally got on the subway with four huge bags filled with invitations. Not only was it freezing outside, but the buildings were also far apart and impossible to find. After thirty minutes of wandering around, I literally dropped my bags in the middle of Time Square, started hysterically crying, and called my dad. I walked over to his office which was only a few blocks away and LUCKILY, he got someone in his office to actually deliver the invitations for me–so bratty of me, I know. That very moment I called up my boss and quit…Needless to say, that was the end of both the fashion world and PR world for me. ”

-Senior, Mailini Lakhaney

“Ok- so this is pretty ridiculous…My boss, while I am clearly doing a ton of work, decided that it would be a good time to share with me her life story. Well one of many at least. Apparently she felt the need to describe to me- in detail- why she can’t eat certain foods. She told me that she has to poop in a bag because she has no intestines. Honestly, I feel bad for her, but what the hell, this is a professional workplace, and I do not want to hear about how you clean your shit out of a bag ‘every hour, on the hour’. Not only did she waste my time, she completely ruined my lunch hour, and now I run out of the bathroom every time she comes in.”

-Sophomore, Jacqui Kinner

That’s right, President John “let me give you a hug” Sexton is on Facebook. Well, at least someone wants you to think he is.
His profile page includes three quotes from The Man Himself, an interest in “walking legs” (?), and several student comments on his wall, all essentially saying: “Give me some fucking financial aid already, J.Sex.” The utter strangeness of this pseudo Mr. Sexton “friending” random NYU students, his status urging you to follow his Twitter feed, and the comment under his sole tagged photo (“What a good lookin’ bunch of change-makers”) are beyond hilarity.

Too bad that everything from his relationship status (apparently he’s openly getting down with NYU senior Caitlin Boehne) to his interest in “following a calling to NYU’s manifest destiny” reek of Take Back NYU trickery. If it were the real Sexton I’m sure that virtual hugs would be in order and couldn’t we all use one of those?

Photo: Flickr courtesy of Saudi…

That’s right, its fire safety inspection time! While your R.A. claims he or she is just coming in for a brief scan of any potential fire hazards you have lying around (cough, the futon you snuck in after welcome week, cough), you and I both know this is just another excuse to bust your ass. So as tons of NYUers prepare for these mandatory inspections, which may or may not take place while you’re present, make sure to stow your growing collection of Jack Daniels bottles and that gravity bong you brought back to New York after your last visit home. Don’t forget that any additional furniture you might have or pretty princess Christmas lights and fancy mood-setting light bulbs count as potential hazards, too. Bottom line: put all that shit away and don’t be lazy because even so much as an empty beer bottle turned flower vase (I know this from experience) could get you into trouble.

Photo: flick courtesy of mudpig.

Yesterday, the G-Man magically appeared (via satellite radio) in Mitchell Stephens’ Foundations in Journalism 11 a.m. lecture. A corrupt conservative rant before my morning coffee? Why not? The G-Man was kind enough to answer a few selected questions from my fellow classmates who, by the way, just finished reading All the Presidents Men. Needless to say, Liddy doesn’t exactly appear as a war hero by the end of Woodward and Bernstein’s famous exposé.

Among some of the highlights were when Liddy was asked if he had any suspicions when Mark Felt was revealed as Woodward and Bernstein’s top-secret sournce, “Deep Throat.” Liddy responded by saying that they all pretty much knew it was Felt the whole time. Do you buy that? Sounds like some serious pride right there. But even the G-Man couldn’t hold in his giggles at the very clever play on words: “Deep Throat.”

The next question was a little ballsier. The student asked Liddy if he ever feels ashamed that all of his success stems from his role in this political scandal. To that, Liddy gave a simple response, “No,” claiming that Watergate was an “accident in history to which [he] came into notoriety.” An “accident”? The G-Man sure knows how to put a spin on things.

Transitioning into the current election (couldn’t you guess that was next?), Liddy was asked how he thought the media would respond if something like Watergate were to occur during a hypothetical Obama administration. In true conservative fashion, Liddy exclaimed that such a scandal would be made much less of a big deal during an Obama administration than a McCain one. I guess he was trying to drive home the point that we exist in an elite liberal media. Thank God for that.

Continuing with the Obama bashing, Liddy exclaimed that if Obama wins the upcoming election, the American people will inevitably transform from an independent people to a dependent one, echoing the widely conservative fear of America as a welfare state. Because poor people receiving help is definitely something to fear. Somebody, alert the church elders!

Liddy pretty much blew off the question I was really wondering about when asked how he responds to counter attacks from Obama’s campaign about his relationship with Bill Ayers, by pointing out McCain’s relationship with the Liddy himself. And then he really grossed me out when he exclaimed, “I have 9 felonies on my record,” and then laughed at some hate mail that called him a “Nixon puppet.” He definitely lived up to the prick we all thought he would be.

Appropriately enough, one of the last questions asked was how Liddy thought the 2008 election could be tampered with, seeing as he has some knowledge in that department. Simple answer: “Voter fraud.” Lets keep that in mind when we go to the voting booths next week. Peace out, G-Man.

Lucky for us, Peaches, who presented her own reality show in the UK: Peaches Geldof: Teenage Mind and later: Peaches Geldof: Teen America, decided to move to hipster’s paradise: Williamsburg, Brooklyn and begin attending NYU. To her credit, Peaches seems to offer slightly more than the usual blonde-haired, wannabe interesting, fashionista socialite. Besides presenting her own reality shows, Peaches has also written columns and articles for The Daily Telegraph, The Guardian, Elle Girl and Nylon magazines. Looks like Peaches and cream’s got a thing for journalism.

But don’t let the extra long bylines fool you, in true accordance with socialite laws, Peaches has also been caught in a potential drug scandal buying drugs from the same dude that supplies Amy Crackhouse with her daily fix, dated a plethora of grimy indie British rockers, pissed off some fellow socialite/ fashionistas, and been rumored to have made some “suggestive” remarks to rocker, Pete Doherty.

People also seem to think she’s sexy and fashionable, seeing as she was ranked number seven in the Tatler’s list of Top Ten Fashion Icons for the year in 2006, and voted 53rd sexiest woman in the world in 2007 by FHM readers. And all before her 19th birthday? That’s pretty cool. But where’s the catch? Ah, here it is. Seems I forgot to mention that Peaches is off the market. Nope, I’m not talking about one of her many British rocker boyfriends, but rather, her husband: American musician Max Drummey from the band Chester French. The couple wed in August of 2008 and have been quoted as saying that they’re happily in love. How Britney of her.

photo: flickr courtesy of brixontia.

As I was informed by the lovely Emily Stephens over at the Tisch Office of Faculty, certain faculty members are subject to a thorough review every couple years. This review includes class surveys, personal work, professional work, but most relevant for you: student feedback, hence the email. So dig up that email from the trash and write back, damnit! This isn’t like those stupid class surveys we take at the end of every semester; these emails are actually looked over thoroughly by some important people. In other words, what you say finally actually matters. Even if you loved the guy and thought he was the sexiest man alive, let em’ know! I’m sure there’s another faculty member under review that pissed you off at one point or the other. Maybe Denny Lawrence, Executive Director of Television & Acting and Directing Studies at Tisch? Or Barbara Malmet, Associate Arts Professor at Tisch? Well guess what? They’re both under review also. It looks like it’s your time to get back at all those assholes who told you that you were just a bunch of talentless delinquents. If you’ve got a legitimate gripe, fire away! Karma’s a bitch.

Deadline – October 24:

Faculty Review Committee
c/o Dara Feivelson
Kanbar Institute of Film and Television
Tisch School of the Arts – New York University
721 Broadway, Room 901
New York, NY 10003

Prospective evaluators should be advised that this is a very serious matter,
both for the Department and for the candidates involved.  All letters will be
held in strictest confidence, viewed only by the Chair, the departmental
Review Committees, the Dean, the Tisch Review Committees, and the Provost’s
Office.  We need to arrive at a recommendation that is as accurate and
thorough as possible, and we welcome informed, thoughtful, and responsible
evaluations from the University Community toward that end.

“There are only three types of intellectual property in the US, and one of them is the trademark (or brand) which are intended to represent all the perceived attributes of a service – and institutions of higher education are no different,” said Paul JJ Payack, President and Chief Word Analyst at GLM. Our TrendTopper analysis is a way of seeing the schools through the eyes of the world at large.”

That should shut your rents up for at least another week about your money situation, or rather lack there of. Not only does this reinforce the idea that we can hang with Harvard-Princeton-Yale, or in the words of J-sex,  ”The Holy Trinity,” but this list also illustrates our position in popular culture. We’re talked about and that’s always a good thing. Because believe it or not, one day we’re going to have to find jobs and as we all know, brand names and labels are the most important thing in the world. So as you’re slipping on that Burberry suit or Armani dress for an interview, don’t forget to bring your New York University Diploma!