On Campus - Wednesday, November 18, 2009 17:27 - 9 Comments

Dear WSN, the Bike Storage You’re Asking For Already Exists

Yesterday’s ardent WSN plea for bike storage around campus is not without reason. Getting a spot on a fence or pole near class sometimes requires a quick shanking, and that sort of stuff will make a person feel bad if done too frequently.

Here’s the thing though: the “unit for student bikes behind Tisch Hall” that “the university plans to create… once the construction behind the building comes to a close” actually already exists. And it’s currently fully functional. (That is a real picture of bikes locked there on the left). All you have to do to get access to the glorious bicycle habitat is contact card services (212-443-2273) and ask them to activate your NYU ID to open the rather imposing swipe gate.

Oops. Continue…

On Campus - Wednesday, November 18, 2009 15:03 - 16 Comments

Darwin Comes Back From the Dead, Preaches Creationism At NYU

You’re not going to want to quote the free copy of Darwin’s Origin of Species you picked up outside Goddard this morning in your next biology paper. You see, with the 150th anniversary of the book’s publication coming up on the 21st. So, obviously, former Growing Pains child actor Kirk Cameron had to save us all from this long-dead scientist whose literature has been poisoning our should-be Christian minds for so long. With this noble, Evangelical goal in mind, Cameron’s been part of a project called Living Waters, which has had 50,000 copies of The Origin of Species reprinted in what they’re calling a “150th Anniversary Edition.”

And guess what?! The edition comes with deleted chapters, Creationist preaching and a very special 50 page introduction that illuminates “Adolf Hitler’s undeniable connection” to Darwin’s theory of evolution! Continue…

National - Wednesday, November 18, 2009 13:01 - 0 Comments

Breaking: Sarah Palin’s “Going Rogue” Has Gone Rogue

Going Rogue, Sarah Palin’s obnoxiously omnipresent new book has, in fact, gone rogue itself. From shooting sprees to godless sex with a heretical text, the account of “a reformer who cast aside politics-as-usual and pushed through changes other politicians only talked about” has clearly snapped under the weight of so much jingoism.

On Campus - Wednesday, November 18, 2009 11:00 - 0 Comments

C and E Bus Route Changes

After Thanksgiving break, a few more bus route changes will come into effect. From an email sent by Jules Martin, NYU’s VP of Global Security and Crisis Management:

Effective November 30, 2009, Route E service – which runs from Washington Square to the Medical Center with stops along 3rd Avenue — in both northbound and southbound directions will be provided on weekdays between 3 PM and Midnight to the bus stop at Third Avenue and 14th Street. Continue…

Featured, On Campus - Wednesday, November 18, 2009 8:53 - 10 Comments

How To Graduate NYU for $17K Less

By the time I graduate next December, I will have saved about $6,500, which is cool. But I could have saved closer to $17,000, and that kind of makes me want to throw things. You see, I spent most of college paying $1,211 per credit instead of $1076, missing out on a prime opportunity to [sort of] Stick It To The Man by stretching my tuition money as much as possible. Don’t let the same BS happen to you.

The other day, Jess illuminated the financial gloriousness of being a part time student. This  week, let’s talk about saving a few thousand dollars a year without even changing your enrollment status.  (I know we go to NYU, so I apologize for the whole math thing that’s going to happen after the jump.) Continue…

On Campus - Tuesday, November 10, 2009 16:33 - 0 Comments

New York Wants To Give You A Student Loan

When scholarships and federal financial aid still aren’t covering the cost of NYU, New York has got your back, kid. This week, The New York Higher Education Finance Authority starts marketing $100 million of tax-exempt, fixed-rate student loan bonds. Basically, they offer retail and institutional investors the chance to buy up student debt in the form of a bond for which they’ll be repaid with a bit of interest between 2012 and 2026.

But all you really need to know is that you could end up with an extra $10,000 to pay for school. Here’s how it works: Continue…

City, Featured - Tuesday, November 10, 2009 15:53 - 4 Comments

You’ll Be Fined If Your Citibank Balance Dips Below $1,500

If your checking account with Citibank averages a monthly balance less than $1,500, you’ll be charged $7.50 for –and I’m paraphrasing here– sucking so much at life. The new policy starts in February and could mean fines up to $90 per year for the bank’s most cash-poor customers, which seems a little shitty to us. Citi, however, sees it as a reward for customers who have enough money not to drop below $1,500 at any given time.

Last we checked, not doing something obnoxious to your customers isn’t much of a reward. Whatever happened to free key chains?

On Campus - Tuesday, November 10, 2009 9:41 - 5 Comments

Mayor Bloomberg and Emma Thompson On Campus Right Now

In an unlikely pairing, Mayor Bloomberg and actress Emma Thompson are currently teaming up in a press conference for the new “Journey” art installation, which shows seven stages of a woman trafficked into sex slavery, all exhibited in shipping crates. The exhibit runs today through the 15th, but we’re guessing the Thompson/Bloomberg press conference won’t be going on much longer. So if you’ve got a burning desire to see our newly re-elected Mayor and Nanny McPhee the mom from The Parent Trap in action, head over to Washington Square East now.

*pics and review of show to come.

On Campus - Tuesday, November 10, 2009 8:00 - 0 Comments

NYU Grad Goes By Princess Donna, Directs Porn 2.0

Behold Porn 2.0, a look at pornography in an increasingly digital age. Just a couple minutes into your beholding, you’ll meet Princess Donna, Tisch grad and director for Kink.com in San Francisco. But before you start silent-panicking about graduation and picturing yourself in some hairy dude’s basement telling two butterface girls to “do that, but faster,” The Princess has a few word of wisdom: “Almost everybody has a college degree…porn is becoming a choice; it’s not something you do because you can’t do anything else.” In fact, even a lot of the “models” have degrees, she notes while liberally applying sparkly eye makeup before heading to the office. So there you have it, kids: the old “if all else fails, I can always do porn” standby may no longer be an option. But just think of all the web porn you can watch while unemployed!

Featured, On Campus - Tuesday, November 10, 2009 6:30 - 0 Comments

James Franco Wants A Ph.D, and Maybe A Little Compassion

I’m sorry women (and men, really) of NYU, but it appears that James Franco has little interest in furthering his storied education beyond master status at our glorious institution of higher learning. Instead, having  dozed off in all the lectures he cares to nap through in New York, he has set his Ph.D sights on Yale, where the female population doesn’t have to pretend to be blasé about his awesomeness.

After what must have been a rousing talk last Thursday at one of Yale’s Berkeley College Master’s Teas, Franco told The Yale Daily News that he’ll be applying to Ph.D programs next year and he’s interested in Yale. We know that NYU’s only real celebrity student is a fan of Yale heavyweight Prof. Harold Bloom, having sat in on one of the author’s lectures last year. But while some might argue that being BFFLs with Bloom and the prestige of Yale make it a logical choice for Franco, we fear that his fleeing New York may be due to causes far more sinister. He was, after all, offended at Columbia’s Butler Library last week, practically forcing him to study all alone elsewhere. Continue…